Telling people you have a brain tumor is really not a one size fits all type of scenario. I think that depending on who the person is and if it will be helpful for them to know plays a large role in the decision of whether to tell or not. I think the most important parts of the decision are what feels best for you and what strengthens your support network.
Some people will say that telling others about their brain tumor is freeing. They have been amazed by the support that has poured out of their community when folks found out about their diagnosis. People have great experiences where they connect with others who have had similar situations and get excellent advice. Folks feel that being open about their brain tumor helps them accept it and receive better accommodations that help them be successful.
Others will say that telling people about their tumor has been incredibly awkward. That hearing from their neighbor that, “My cousin’s-mailman’s-sister’s-boyfriend had the same tumor and cut gluten from their diet and it disappeared on its own,” isn’t useful. People worry that they are treated differently by others when they tell them, or that they will be seen as fragile or incapable. They feel that when they tell someone about their diagnosis, the other person dumps their emotional reaction to the news on them.
I think both view points are extremely valid. I think it is really important to know yourself and what would feel comfortable and helpful for you. I will use myself and my husband as an example.
I am an extrovert. I love talking and sharing with people. I also am an external processor- talking through stuff really gets me through it. I found telling most folks in my world about my diagnosis super helpful. I run a business and needed to explain to my staff why I needed to have them cover for me and do extra training as I reassigned tasks. I found my family and friends were great listening boards and did fabulous things like take my child while I was in surgery, show up and clean my house, or start a meal train. I didn’t go social media public until two days before my surgery because I didn’t want to talk to everyone about it- but my circle was a huge support through the ordeal.
My husband, on the other hand, is an introvert. He also finds discussing medical stuff to be horrible. He has always been the person who doesn’t understand the appeal of Grey’s Anatomy and looks away during an operation in a movie. When he had a medical issue all he wanted was to never talk about it and it drove him crazy whenever anyone wanted to check on him and only discuss his health.
I would also recommend keeping in mind your support network and their needs. For example, if you know this diagnosis is hard for your mom and her being able to discuss with your aunt what is happening will help her be able to be a better support person, I would recommend letting your aunt into the circle of knowledge as that will hopefully ultimately benefit the support network. I think that it is so important for your caregivers to be able to get the support and space to vent that they need so they can stay healthy and be able to support you. Feel free to ask others to do the actual telling so you don’t have to shoulder the burden of sharing the news.
I would recommend you decide who knows on a case by case basis. Pick the people who will help and build you up and not wear you down. Build a strong support network for yourself and your caregiver(s) to get through the situation. Don’t feel like you owe it to anyone to tell them.
Some more articles on the topic: https://www.thebraintumourcharity.org/news/support-news/telling-your-loved-ones-about-your-brain-tumour/
https://www.thebraintumourcharity.org/news/support-news/why-talking-about-your-brain-tumour-helps/


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