I have never been a “real” musician. I have many talented musicians in my circle. I did several years of music lessons in my school years- as well as participating in very amateur community choirs. These days, my music experiences are typically as an audience member, as a mother of children learning instruments, or are very much recreational.

I was worried after losing my hearing that I would not be able to enjoy music the same way or that it wouldn’t sound as good. I can’t go and compare my hearing now with then, so it could be that I am not remembering it right. But I feel like I can still enjoy music as I always could, with a few caveats. I don’t mean to say that mono and stereo are the same experience or that other people with single sided deafness may not feel a large impact on their music experience. However, I am grateful I can participate in music as I wish.

I do find that I listen to music less than what I used to when I was a hearing individual. Before, I would always have music on while driving, or often while I did chores around the house. Currently, I struggle a lot with hearing fatigue as well as having a hard time conversing with background noise, so I find that I don’t often just want music on in the background. I do choose times to specifically listen to music, but then it often takes a good chunk of my focus. I will often choose quiet over music specifically because I know my brain needs a break from auditory input.

I typically like using my bone anchored hearing aid (BAHA) when I listen to music, again with some exceptions. I have to turn my BAHA off when the music is very loud or has a lot of bass. I find that it vibrates too much and becomes painful. I often will use an auditorium telecoil system to hook into my BAHA, but I find that it is not helpful when attending performances like music or musicals. In those situations, it is typically too loud for comfort. I also find specific tones or instruments can be problematic. My eldest child plays violin, and I find that certain notes get caught by my BAHA and somewhat ring or almost squeal. I find I have that problem much less often with my youngest’s piano practice. I do have the ability to Bluetooth music directly from my phone to my BAHA. I do this sometimes, but it is a little quiet and somewhat tinny or mechanical. I often choose to use this feature more for audiobooks than music. Other headphone options have more breadth in the sound.

I also wear an ear plug a lot more often than I did when I was a hearing individual.  Now that I have just one hearing ear I find that I am very zealous about protecting what hearing remains.

I do tend to have a hard time understanding lyrics while people are singing. That is one ongoing struggle I have with attending musical theater productions. I find I want to go to captioned performances if possible. Otherwise, I will familiarize myself in advance with the lyrics or have the lyrics open on my phone for reference. I love that Amazon music automatically shows the lyrics when you play a song – it is definitely my go-to for listening.

An important part of the music experience with single sided deafness (ssd) is to make sure all your settings on devices are set on mono so you don’t accidentally miss out on parts of the songs playing on the deaf side.

I remember when I first sang publicly after becoming ssd, and I asked my friend and duet partner to make sure I was doing alright and singing on pitch in rehearsals. I was worried I wouldn’t hear it correctly. She reported I was doing great (and I sure hope she told the truth-ha!). Since that time, I have typically felt fine singing. The one time I had a large struggle with singing specifically was when I was participating in a virtual choir recording during the pandemic. They recommended listening to the accompaniment track in one ear and listening to yourself sing in the other so the recording wouldn’t have the accompaniment to make mixing easier. I did not have enough good ears to make that situation work well.

In general, music still brings lots of joy to my life. I love dancing, seeing live music performances, watching my children learn music, singing around a campfire, and listening to Christmas carols. I feel grateful that music has always been a recreational experience for me. The biggest change would be the frequency and amount of music I now intake. It has become much more of a sometimes enjoyment than a frequent accompaniment.