There are many cultural pressures that can make body image and our relationship with our body challenging. Add in a health crisis, and it gets a lot more complicated and difficult. Some days, your body can be your biggest enemy, your largest hurdle. Yet it is an important part of who you are, and it is so critical to come to a place where the relationship is not adversarial. It is so beneficial to be able to see the flaws and the struggles and love yourself anyway.

One big piece is just feeling comfortable with your appearance. This alone can be a long and super challenging road. It is so hard when you don’t feel you look like yourself. Sometimes, when folks share with me their struggles with not looking like themself, they want to minimize those feelings. It’s ok to grieve your appearance. That is a big loss. Hopefully, soon, you can gain it back or move into a new look that you can feel good about.

Sometimes, people worry about the scars. Now I am fortunate in that I am a woman with long enough hair that my head scars never show. But between my Acoustic Neuroma surgery and two other abdominal surgeries, I now boast 7 incision scars on my abdomen (plus some stretch marks from having babies). I could choose to always cover my abdomen in public, and that would be an absolutely fine choice if I was comfortable and happy there. But my husband really loves it when I wear a two piece to the beach – so I do. I wear my battle scars proudly. They tell the stories of my victories.

Beyond appearance is the struggle of your body failing you. It feels like a betrayal. It can be a long journey toward moving from resentment with your body to being able to be thankful for what your body can do. Take all the time you need to get there, but work towards it. Living in despair or animosity toward your own body is ultimately detrimental to all of you. Find ways to see the beautiful things your body can do. Yes, I am deaf in one ear and my balance is wonky, but I made wonderful children/ hiked all day/ enjoyed a stunning art display/ made food that took care of my family/ accomplished an important work day/ etc. I personally find exercise to be a great place to create a sense of control over my body, as well as to clearly see and celebrate its successes.

There will always be moments of disappointment and struggle. It’s ok to feel those hard moments of limitation. But ultimately, you have just this one, beautiful, complex body to take you through life. It deserves grace. It deserves celebration. I hope you can find paths to a place where your body can be your partner and not your nemesis.