When I first was diagnosed with hearing loss and an acoustic neuroma brain tumor, I was worried about what my diagnosis would mean for my kids. My brain spiraled down negative thoughts of not being there for them or being unable to be the parent I wanted to be. In no way do I want to minimize the challenges brought into my life by this diagnosis, but I did not foresee the ways in which the situation would lead to growth. I have been amazed at what my children have learned from my hearing loss as well as how they have supported me.

When I was first diagnosed and my eldest was only two, I was shocked to see how much empathy she learned throughout the situation. I don’t think of two year olds as having that much capacity for empathy, but she really demonstrated it. I remember a day in recovery where I was very tired and worn out and she realized it. Typically, she had enjoyed nap time as much as any toddler- which is to say not at all. But that day, seeing my exhaustion, she asked me to play “lie down.” She definitely talked me into a nap I was trying to skip, because she was both aware and caring for me.

Now with many years of experience with a mother with hearing loss, I am frequently impressed by my children’s ability to advocate. They advocate by educating others about hearing loss. They also advocate by assisting me in hard to hear situations. Below are some favorite moments of my children advocating.

The other day while I was driving my youngest and my niece my hearing aid battery died. I warned them that my battery had died. My daughter immediately jumped in and explained to my niece what that meant, “She may have a harder time hearing you. You should say her name before you start talking. It’s best if you face her and speak clearly without covering your face.” I was so impressed that she could so clearly articulate my communication needs. I was also impressed that my daughter anticipated that my niece is not as familiar with my hearing loss and needed a quick crash course on the situation.

Another example is when I was at the zoo with the family. A nearby group of people asked me to take a photo of them, and I totally did not hear it. My eldest realized what had occured, and she stepped in seamlessly, telling the folks, “She would be happy to.” She then informed me that they had asked me to take a photo. Her intervention made a potentially awkward gaffe nonexistent. She could have chosen to be annoyed, but instead chose helpfulness and kindness. This is just one example of the many different times she has assisted by being my ears.

My youngest came home from school and shared a story about how someone made a joke about a person wearing hearing aids and not being able to hear. She told me how that made her uncomfortable, and she told her classmate that it wasn’t very nice to do that and talked about how her mom uses a hearing aid. I loved that she could help her classmate see beyond the stigma by sharing about her own life. Exposure to lots of different kinds of people and abilties is so helpful.

While I would never wish for hearing loss, I am so glad that it has helped my children learn to be helpers and the importance of adapting to differing needs. I think they are turning into wonderful champions for those with hearing loss. I am grateful that the hearing loss community has such staunch supporters. I am also thankful for all they do to improve my life by helping lessen my hearing fatigue by using good communication practices and helping to facilitate difficult to hear situations. Self advocacy can be extremely exhausting, and I am so grateful for the small ways my children work to make my burden smaller.