Hypervigilance is a pretty common experience for someone with hearing loss. It impacts us in a variety of ways. It can lead to overprotection of our remaining hearing. We also can be hypervigilant of what is happening around us in an attempt to compensate for what our hearing might miss. While vigilance is very useful, hypervigilance can lead to exhaustion, frustration, and missing out.

Losing all your hearing in one ear can be a traumatic experience. It’s really hard to lose a part of yourself. Prior to hearing loss, I honestly took my hearing for granted and never really thought about it. Suddenly losing all my hearing in one ear made me very aware of how much I relied on my ears. It also brought into focus just how fragile hearing can be. It seems crazy how easy it is to lose something as critical as hearing.

After I lost all my hearing in one ear, I struggled with anxiety about losing my hearing in my remaining ear. Not only was I careful about protecting my hearing, but I would be tempted to go above and beyond what was needed to make sure I avoided noise- out of fear. I lost sleep to thoughts of what I would do if I lost my hearing in my remaining ear.

I also battled with the hypervigilance of trying to catch everything that is happening without two ears to assist me. I felt this pressure to do absolutely everything I could to overcome my disability. Sometimes it is important that I am extra cautious, such as in safety situations. Other times I would push myself to not miss anything even beyond what would be expected of a hearing person.

Having one deaf ear means I have lost the ability to locate sounds. Instead, when I hear a sound I have to look around and find the sound with my eyes. Because of this, I am always trying to look and be aware of my surroundings because I am missing auditory cues for possible danger. Sometimes I find myself startling because a noise is unexpected and I cannot locate what the noise is.

Having hearing loss also means I expend much more focus and energy just to communicate successfully. I will often be looking around at people near me to try and see if they may have started talking to me and I may not have heard. I often feel like I can’t fully relax among several people because I have to constantly be working to check if someone may be talking to me. I also am constantly using speech cues to fill the blanks of any words I may miss. That level of focus leads to a large energy drain.

It’s so easy for vigilance to bleed into hypervigilance. While it is important to monitor your body and pay attention to the information your body sends, it can become all consuming. It’s smart to use vision and other cues for safety as well as communication, but becoming unable to relax because you are unwilling to miss anything can be problematic. It’s an ongoing battle to find the balance of staying aware and present and not sliding into hypervigilance.

Life is full of noise. Opting out of events out of a fear of loud sound can lead to missing out on things that bring joy.  Hearing loss already has an increased risk of social isolation.  It’s super important to stay connected and continue to do the things we love, even if there is noise. Instead of opting out of everything, we just need to be adequately prepared with the correct hearing protection if the situation needs it. Or if just hearing protection isn’t enough to make the situation fun and comfortable, I try to find ways to alter the outing to fit my needs so I can still be with my people or do the things I love in a way that is successful for me.

I try to keep in mind that everyone misses things that are said. Misunderstandings are a normal part of communication.  Perfection is not required for social interaction. I can take breaks and make mistakes and it’s ok. It’s also okay to ask for help and accomodations- like asking someone to wear my remote microphone at a restaurant, or asking a friend to turn down the music at a party. Ultimately, my people want to connect with me and are happy to support me.

I try to walk the tightrope balance of being vigilant and present without falling into hypervigilance. Some days are better than others. I am grateful for all my coping mechanisms and tools I have gathered along the way- from great ear plugs to practicing self advocacy. If I overdo it and find myself swamped with fatigue after being hypervigilant, I try and learn for the next time.